September 2009


Sunset_resize.jpgI had a nightmarish September with so much paperwork to be done for this recital in November. Writing to people,sending out flyers,sending out information for publicity,getting all the data needed for the programs,etc.etc. I'm so glad the majority of this is done now. The rest I can cope with like a normal person.

I ended up with only 5 hours sleep at night for nearly 2 weeks at one point. It seemed like it was never ending and I was getting quite upset about the whole thing which started to develop a really negative outlook on life in general!!! At one point I was disappointed in everything - society,what makes the world go round ( - didn't seems like love!), what the majority of people think is important,love,marriage - you name it and I could have given you an example on all the things that seem to not make sense to me.

In the meantime though,interestingly and ironically,the playing was going really well. I think that was what had kept me going. And I'm not sure whether it was because I was going through a bad time and feeling very isolated that I have seemingly arrived in a totally different place than expected but a place which I had been searching for without evening know it.

A friend of mine quoted me these wonderful words which Ginette Neveu (famous violinist) once said. At the time,I was just moved by the greatness of the words themselves,but now I feel that I actually know what she means.

"Nothing great is achieved without the solitude of vocation, and the greatness is,perhaps,a kind of radiant solitude" (by Ginette Neveu)

Now I'm out of my bad phase (as most of the work that I had to get done has been dealt with) and my playing has continued to grow so I'm feeling really good and positive at the moment.
I just hope that what I'm pursuing is the real thing. Will only be able to find out on the day of the concert!